Polysemy in Context

Last week I spent a lot of time looking at text, idioms, metaphors, prototypes, lexical structures, meaning and core meanings of words and dissecting grammar. I’m still processing the academic information and lectures. Overall, it was a rich academic experience. But the academic focus was overpowered by human relationships. Even though we all spoke the same language, English, some of us interpreted the signals differently. It led to confused communication and dissapointment.

As humans, social beings, we spend a lot of time wanting and needing things. We especially want and need other people to like us, to love us, to be in love with us, to notice us, to never forget us, and to remember us always. But that comes with conditions and we have to qualify our desires. We don’t want to be liked by that person, we want to be liked by this person. We don’t want to be noticed by just someone, we want to be noticed by the perfect someone. We don’t want just anyone to love us, we want the right one to love us.

When that one, someone, or anyone pays us even a little attention, instead of heart palpitations it brings heart-burn. Instead of sending tingles down your back, it sends a shiver up your spine. Instead of falling head over heels, you feel like you’ve fallen flat on your face. Last week, I had the worst heart-burn of my life, literally.

Because it’s not about anyone, it’s about the right someone. If it’s the wrong someone, you wish it had been no one at all. Because sometimes no one is better than just anyone. At least for me.

Communication and relationships are defined by status and structure. Those involved, what they do and how they do it all plays a part. It’s a very fine balance of presentation, intonation, and style. Last week a relationship pre-defined by structures of power, distance and authority was instantly shattered when the wrong type of attention was paid to a certain someone. Even though relationships are fluid, open to interpretation and individual expression, there are rules. There is a form and a structure that must be followed. When there are deviations from the form, there is a communication breakdown. And when communication breaks down, there is miscommunication. This can result in conflict and conflict results in broken trust. Because once trust is broken, it rarely can be reconstructed.

And it’s always disappointing to feel you can’t trust someone anymore.